Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

I know that I haven't posted in awhile. Its been awhile since grad ended, and awhile since holidays started. Been really busy with alot of stuff, and gonna be really busy this whole holidays. I'm glad though, I don't want to waste too much time. Will post up something on hols soon.

Meanwhile, here's a really sad, yet totally beautiful song.

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer

It's not a silly little moment
It's not the storm before the calm
This is the deep and dying breath of
This love we've been working on

Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms
Nobody's gonna come and save you
We pulled too many false alarms

We're going down
And you can see it too
We're going down
And you know that we're doomed
My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room

I was the one you always dreamed of
You were the one I tried to draw
How dare you say it's nothing to me
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw

I'll make the most of all the sadness
You'll be a bitch because you can
You try to hit me just to hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand

We're going down
And you can see it too
We're going down
And you know that we're doomed
My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room

Go cry about it, why don't you?
My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room

Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?

There is a time for everything.

Its funny really, how I put off HMT after exams and now that the time has come to actually revise for it, I don't really give too much about it. My mind is tuned to that of relaxing and enjoying life now, and its not a good thing because of all the people in class who take chinese, I am the one that need to revise the most. If not second most, or third most.

I've been doing a couple of things these few days. Lately I've been able to do things I like to do, as well as find out a little more about myself. One of those things is reading, which I found out just a couple months back that I actually really pretty much enjoy. And I'm also trying to get in touch with my piano again.

These few days I've also been playing around in the kitchen, stealing my mum's ingredients and trying to make something outta them. Its funny really, how all these new found interests all hit me right at the same time. I suppose too much of studying makes you realise how much you treasure ftime you have to yourself. I'm not totally high and happy, but I'm very very content with the time I have to myself now.

I've been making a couple of ambigrams just for fun, and i realised that I could easily work on one for like 3 to 4 hours without rest, and not knowing how fast time has past for me. I was told that this is part of typography, which is a branch of design. It is a friggin cool branch of design, intend to read up abit more on it.

Here's one. Its my name, and I really love it. Its on my MSN and my phone display. Forgive the background though, I learning how to make backgrounds look nice


I suppose the one thing which makes me so satisfied with what I'm doing nowadays is that it shows how I've moved on from the usual computer games. I can still remember those old days where I wouldsay I was really addicted, as all I do is go to school, think about playing and then when I actually get home, I play my games, go to bed and so forth.

Even worse is during the holidays, where I actually waste entire days, entire weeks, doing this sorta thing.

This time round I want to learn to do stuff. I'm looking forward to learning japanese (mum says she could sign me up for classes), as well as catching up abit on next year's syllables. Shall have to get that from some JC ppl.

Well, it is a change from the old old me, but I think this new intersts are good ones, hopefully they will last.

GL

Slacking a sin no more

Well, Eoys are over, and the upcoming chinese thingy is still a little while away, so I'm enjoying the little bubble of breathing space I have thus far. Seems to be a very long time since I haven't been thinking of books and trying to cram that little bit more knowledge into my already very packed brain, but nonetheless, its a relief to say that it is over. Though whether it is good or not so good, I cannot really comment (except math. I'm dead for paper 2).

The thing is I'm not exactly in a super duper hyper awesome mood after EOYs, it seems so anticlimax. You wait for this day since forever and you reach it only to find out that maybe its just a day without all the mugging you need to do, but nothing other than that.

Hopefully the mood will wear away soon. Meanwhile, I'm going to catch up on some sleep =)

GL

Hand Rot Day

Today is the start of EOYs and I dunno how I did for both papers, English and Social Studies. But my hands did rot.

But what I can say is I have FINISHED ENGLISH AND SOCIAL STUDIES EDUCATION! HURRAY!

Amusing how we can finish 1 quarter of EOYs in just 1 day. Schedule this year is pretty good, with a day at least to study for all content heavy subjects.

Friday: Chemistry
Tuesday: Physics (DIE HAVEN'T EVEN START YET)
Thursday: Double Math
Friday: Bio and Lit

Except Bio and Lit, but then again with our measly 49/90 for dramatization (omg omg emo T.T), I'm prepared to let lit be THE SUBJECT TO BE DROPPED.

Sigh. Life is tough.

Oh btw, this post is testament to the fact that I am very bored of Chemistry.

GL

Mugging as the essence of Livelihood

If there is one period we all unite, it has to be the EOYS. No other time has seen boys thinking about studying so much, such that even in a fire drill, the thing we grab is... guess what?

A math worksheet and a pen!

A truly amazing sight to behold, the whole of 4A sitting down holding the math worksheet, even though we're supposed to be running for our lives. We discuss how to finish up the next problem on the agenda, and fill our thoughts with random numbers and equations rather than how to follow the escape route (though we still follow the right route eventually).

My life these days has been governed mainly by the 3 S Laws. Discounting on what i usually already do (namely eating, training)

School, Sleep, Study.

Oh yea, and Mafia Wars. But lets not put that into the equation.

Well. Its getting very routine isn't it? Thinking about what the day will be dedicated to and then spending your time mugging it, digesting all that knowledge, feeling happy at the end of the day that you have remembered! And might have earned yourself another 5 marks in your EOY. Perhaps just enough for the 3.6 or 4.0.

Today i went to photocopy past year papers. My first time ever, and I thought no one does it. So I walked slowly to the library, borrowed the papers, and walked into the the photocopy room.

To see a bunch of boys in tight shorts photocopying SEC 1 REVISION PAPERS. WHAT THE HELL SEC ONE NEED TO SO HARDCORE MEH??

So I decided that I will return later. During our free period.

And DURING FREE PERIOD, DAVID WENZHENG AND PINGYEN were photocopying also. Whatheshit how come everyone is doing this I thought it was a bold new initiative by me. And thats when I realised that maybe thats why I'm not 4.0 calibre throughout this 4 years in RI.

I tell you this is one of the aspects of the Rafflesian spirit. And true to our very own principle orf honour. And here is also where you realise that the stereotype of RI boys are nerdy mugger bespectacled boys in high tight pantsis partially true. I wouldn't comment on our attire (you would be surprised at the vanity of RI Boys at the end of 4 years), but true enough we all have a mugger inside us. Its just a matter of what he looks like.

"IN INTELLECTUAL PURSUIT I SHALL REFLECT DISCIPLINE AND PASSION FOR LEARNING. AND IN PERSONAL CONDUCT I SHALL LIVE IN INTEGRITY AND REGARD INDIVIDUALS GROUPS AND THE COMMUNITY WITH KINDNESS AND RESPECT AND IN SO DOING UPHOLD THE RAFFLESIAN PRINCIPLE OF HONOUR."

*Our principle of honour. The red part is fulfilled during EOYs*

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There are many quotes that people come up with nowadays. Here are two

"Queue cutting is always frowned upon in society, but never illegal" --- Bob

How true. How true. Bob talked about this in his presentation, which I was very impressed with, due to the wittty jokes.

And our very own sex guru, Lim Shien Hian.

"Do you think premarital is healthy?"

"Well, I'm not sure. But its GREAT!"

This guy is a genius.

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A very braindead GL

Uncensored.

Haven't posted in a while. Partly because whenever I find myself half going to post I end up looking at some worksheet, and distracted by Mafia Wars. Or something similar. Something always happens. Not today though. I have cleared up my Mafia business and I'm really bored of that chem worksheet lying right in front of me.

I was thinking about F words, because the other day it accidentally slipped my tongue. Actually no one caught it but I admitted it to a most triumphant Wei Xuan, after which I think they (Kwun Tong, WX, can't remember who else..) were egging me on to say more.

Was quite disturbed by the fact that I subconscious used that word as an immediate reaction even though I wasn't really pissed at anything in particular.

I know that the word "FUCK" (ok, i decided to just put it there because it is clearer) is very commonly used nowadays. People from all walks of life, be it different races, different ages, or different languages (thats right! people who don't understand english use THE ELUSIVE F WORD), use the word like water.

But fact remains its a crude word. And it doesn't sound nice at all to use it. What purpose does it serve to use it in everything you say?

Fucking stupid, fucking dumb, fucking asshole, fucking awesome. Just a list a few.

The strangest thing is it can be used even over any range of emotions. Because the f word is the one most flexible word in the dictionary. Honestly I think it is the most flexible word in the dictionary because people started to misuse it in the first place, rather than it being flexible because it was made to be that way.

I actually dunno why it bothers me really. But since young it was simply put, a taboo word in my vocabulary. You don't say it not because you can't say it but rather, saying it reflects a certain disregard for people and a certain vulgarity in the way you speak. (I know this will offend alot of people who use it but I'm pretty sure they haven't really thought about anyway and they are really, good people)

In fact, when you say it, most of the time you're pisseed with yourself. Like this:

A: Hey have you done your chem worksheet?

B: Huh must do?

A: Yea, if not he make us stand in the dustbin.

B: Really? Oh fuck.

Essentially, B is cursing himself. The F word was used to express his own forgetfulness.

Well I've asked some people. They say there was a phase where they just used the word. Part of a trend at that point, or a growing up phase. For me that was... Upper Primary. Where I didn't really understand what the word meant anyway. But the point is, you will grow out of it in time I guess. Thats what people tell me.

Well I disapprove of the F word...

But that also brings me to my next point, which is the use of other swearing words (mostly mild).

Its kinda hard to express your unhappiness without some form of non offensive language.

For me, I use screw you, shit, dammit, walao, sick, damn gay and so forth. All not refined.

So how do you curse most in the most refined manner yet?

I have no decent ideas.

"My displeasure is so unnerving that i can't stay still." (Replaces walao)

"Nothing can compare to the terror of my anger at this moment. Please kindly injure yourself" (Replaces shit, screw you)

"May a thousand flies land upon your head and infest your insides" Used for Cursing someone.

"I am upset with my the manner which I have carried this out." (Replaces "Oh shit.")

In this day and age it is easy to swear, but hard to swear in style. Its like what they say, easy to learn, hard to master.

Can't believe I blogged about this -.-

GL

We are screwed, aren't we.

There are a number of things I'm really afraid of losing.

I'm afraid of losing my legs.

Imagine if you woke up one day, and you can't move around because you've got stumps for feet. You can't run fast because quite simply, you don't have legs to run. You will never be able to feel the wind cutting through you, that feeling of utmost speed and feeling like you're at the top of the world. Or every step, every push off. As a runner, i need those legs.

You can't walk, you can't get from one place to another without crutches, a wheelchair, prosthetics and whatsoever. You cannot keep up with people. You limp. You walk funny, or you don't walk at all. You cannot escape from danger, you cannot save a loved one, you cannot save yourself.

And you're resigned to that for the rest of your life.

I would hate to lose my eyes as well.

I wouldn't be able to see the changes that time brings with her. The way people look, the emotions on their faces, the language of their bodies. Forever, your world would be a world of black. You cannot navigate properly. You walk into walls, into lampposts, into danger.

More practically, you cannot read easily, or use things properly. Lets just say the computer, the piano, books (i know braille is possible, but it seems so tedious to keep running your fingers over raised dots). You can't read the newspapers, you can't do sports without a guide, or even with one its still insanely complicated.

And then there is of course your loved ones.

You do realise that it is so easy to lose a loved one. There are probably a thousand zillion ways to die and its simply a miracle that nothing has struck those around you. But the fact that that thousand zillion possibilities exists means that the chance of losing anyone close is still very real.

My mother is scolding me now over computer usage but I don't know what I would do withour her, she who has raised us from little babies and puts food on our taables, clothes on our backs and a shelter over our heads. Or without sisters which I have lived my life forever with. Or my dad who is overseas gets stuck in some oil barrel in the middle east and never makes out out alive or something. Or mayb one of my classmates which I was just joking around with finds out he has some cancer or strange ailment and dies 2 days later. It all seems so possible.

Or even me. What if I just slipped on the roads tmr and the car drives across and leaves me in a couple of different pieces? Or say if a glass pane breaks and lands on my head, or the turning fan drops and slices my head off or something. Or I suddenly find out I have a brain tumour, blood cancer, or something along those lines.

I think if we all think of all the tragedy that could effectively hit us every single day, we would be scared to our wits. Its a very bleak outlook, but a very possible, and a very real one too. We all have too much to lose in our lives. Perhaps we really take life for granted.

GL